Love myself.

Last year was the most brutal year of my entire life. I am pretty sure that I was not the only one. Maybe I have to thank God that I am still alive.

I didn't remember exactly how I started to think about 'love myself.'

When I came to think of my past relationships, I always looked for someone who cares about me and validates me. That's because I didn't love myself, and I have very low self-esteem. Eventually, my relationship ended up very badly.

I doubted and blamed myself when terrible things happened to me, which was the easiest way to compromise with myself.

However, the irony is that the worst incident played a role in opening my eyes. Ultimately that happen led me to how to do love myself instead of falling into despair.

Now, It has been around a year that I practice loving myself, cares for myself, and speak myself. But that doesn't mean I free of any anxiety or sadness. I am sometimes struggling with many factors which I couldn't control or hard to deal with it as well as I still often feel blue and fluctuates emotions. And I know now that doesn't mean something wrong with me.

These are all part of me. I am trying to accept myself and keep in mind that I am enough as I am.

Someone who made a mistake in the past, someone who still can not figure out what to do in the future, and someone who loves writing, reading, watching movies, videos, and singing songs are all part of me.

There are many versions of me, and I am still learning how do I love each of myself.

Perhaps I have to take this lesson and keep it in mind for my entire life.

#lovemyself #loveyourself #diary