Crossroads of the Past and Present

It’s been two months since I arrived in Calgary. So far, everything is going well. I’m still struggling with driving—today, I even made a mistake, so apologies to the other drivers. My recent interview went well, and now I’m waiting for the hiring process to complete. I hope everything moves forward smoothly.

Often, I find myself thinking about Vancouver. There’s such a different vibe here compared to there. Most of my friends and the memories I cherish are in Vancouver, where my fairy tale love story began. I still remember our first day in our new home together, lying on the bare floor with only a sleeping bag, smiling at each other. We shared wine on the balcony, just us, and everything felt perfect. But as beautiful as that beginning was, the ending was equally painful. It’s not the specific moments I miss, but rather that feeling of care and love.

When we said goodbye, I wished you happiness, but my feelings have fluctuated ever since. I struggle to genuinely wish you love or happiness, not because I still love you, but because I can’t bring myself to forgive. Trust was shattered, and while I found myself, I lost the innocence I had about love. I learned that words alone mean little in love.

Now, I feel afraid to fall in love again. Without trust, it’s hard to believe in love, let alone engage in it fully. You are my past, and I am in my present—that is the path I choose to keep moving forward.

So, I’ll wait and see what stays, letting go of what doesn’t.